Thursday, June 18, 2009

Mad Rantings

Okay, new equation: permanent damage in right arm and shoulder + days upon days of rain and roller-coaster barometers = constant pain accompanied by a lethargic, non-creative, anti-productive state-of-mind, multiplied by a self-imposed guilt trip for not creating, and divided by not enough time for work, house, family, and me. Result? I'm not painting. And I'm resenting it, but there is no-one to blame. It's just life. And right now, it's not fun.

And to make it all just that much better, I recently had a birthday which was a not-too-subtle reminder that this is now a way of life, and not likely to get easier or better in the future. Or ever. So what are my choices? Can't order a day with more hours in it, or change my physicality, or stop being a wife and mom,or quit my job, so the choice comes down to what? Not sleep? Not likely. Okay, maybe sleep less? Fine line here between tired and zombie. And seeing as how I work with sharp bladed instruments all day at work, not a good idea to be dead on my feet all day. Arrggggh. Why does my life have to be so.......normal? Just wanna paint. That's all. But I don't really want to give up everything we've worked so hard for, either. Okay, I admit it, I am a spoiled rotten example of the baby boomer American woman with all of the attributes of a whiny princess on Valium. So, now what? Somebody kick me in the assets, and point me to the Studio door, cause this is Life and and you don't get a Mulligan.

Well, thanks for that little pep talk. I do believe it helped, and I'm feeling oh-so-relieved that my disease is not life-threatening, and is most likely attributable to some form of mental deficiency. :)

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